My partner Shane and I have been together for 14 years. We met in Melbourne and hit it off straight away. From probably the very first or second date we talked about family and our desire to have children. I think the conversation started like that because I was adopted when I was five years old. 

I'd always wanted to be a parent but never thought it would be possible, but then a lot was changing around same-sex partnerships and the ability for same sex couples to adopt or foster. Shane also very much always wanted to be a parent. We definitely wanted to go down the fostering / adoption route and when he came across Barnardos, I remember him getting really excited. He ordered the info pack which came in the post – there was no digital in those days. It took us by surprise that there was a same sex couple on the front cover.

That was about eight years ago. We were so well looked after through Barnardos from the word go. They kept us updated and informed. It was a well-constructed journey with all the workshops and training that we did. Even though it took a long time (COVID didn’t help), we never gave up on it.

When it did happen for us, it happened at breakneck speed!

I was in the UK with work and about to fly back to Australia on the day the call came. It 5:00 AM in London and they told us that we'd be matched with this little boy. I'm always on time for everything but after that I was running so late to get to the airport. Shane and I couldn’t really talk so we were texting each other back and forth. He warned me they’d sent an email and said you’re going to need someone with you when you open it, because there were photos in it! So, I remember exactly where I was in the Qantas Lounge when I first saw Louis. I was in tears and was shaking and then I had to do a non-stop flight from London to Sydney. Having had all this news, it was the most challenging, exciting and stressful flight I've ever done. Louis came to us just before he turned five. And those first three photos we've got on the side of our bed.

When we first met Louis, his previous carer, who is an amazing lady, said “Oh, you probably don't know, but we've only been recently discovered there is a younger brother too. His name is Ivar and he is three years old.” 

Once Louis had come to live with us, we had conversations, and he really did want to have his younger brother back in his life. Barnardos is also committed to keeping siblings toqether. So one day while I was with Louis, having his paediatrician checkup, Shane called me three or four times, even though he knew he knew exactly where I was, and I knew something was up. Then I got this message; “Things are happening quickly with Ivar.”

I think we broke all the records in that Ivar arrived with us five weeks later. And the rest is history.

By that point Louis had been with us 18 months. And we'd done a lot of work to really build confidence and trust with him. Although Louis was really excited, you could see there was a slight change in the in the dynamic now Ivar was here. 

They’ve been working their way to get on with each other and I think one of the interesting things was that Louis had acted as a pseudo parent for Ivar in the first couple of years. I remember a conversation where we had to explain to Louis that we are Ivar’s parents and his job was to be his big brother.

It's actually been very good for Louis, and now they get on, like brothers do!  We also have a great relationship with their birth grandparents, and we include them in as much as we can. Last year the boys’ grandparents on their dad’s side went on holiday with us. We send regular photo updates to their dad. The other day he told us he was just happy that his sons were happy. That meant a lot to us.

Our community and the boys’ school have been amazingly supportive as well. The boys were so excited to get adopted, they told everyone. They attended the Supreme Court and met the Judge, and love that we now all share our surname! are telling everyone that when they are adopted, the judge will give them a bowl of sweets! The big thing really is the surname change – they’re excited about that too.